INSECURITY

So I was just tweeting from my official account, @honey_ricci (of course you all are free to follow the page) and i got an inspiration to write on this very pressing issue of insecurity. What triggered this? A simple tweet on my timeline about a girl that was obviously "wearing bum bum" in her avatar. this of course is not a new invention to me, neither is it new to any of the Lagos girl's reading this post and even some of the men! I am not here to talk about the infamous 'bum bum pad" that has raged the hostels of several female students today.That is barely the point! it is just a little node on this big tree called INSECURITY.
Living in Lagos and Nigeria as a whole has thought me the bitterness behind insecurity. I have learnt not to trust anything anyone is saying because they might just be saying it so they could look superior to you. The constant oppression and bullying Lagosians encounter everyday has a psychological effect. Many of us here need shrinks more than we know. It is said "Many are mad but few are roaming". Pathological liars are being born everyday owing to the need to "cover up" 'package" and other terms I cant even think of right now.
Our society today has made it almost impossible to stay real and true to oneself and "friends". Everyone is so full of lies and deceit these days. Everybody wants to belong. no one wants to be a "social outcast" but the real question here is - to what end? Even the Bible says' "What shall it profit a man to gain the world and lose his own soul". Everyone is selling out and the real people are getting extinct. If you don't fit into a certain stereotype you are suddenly pushed aside. You see people you call your friends pushing you aside in their quest for social status. They will say you are "stopping their shine". They wanna roll with the big boys and girls now. Ever girl wants to date a guy that has a car, that buys you brazillian hair, pops in the club. and the guys who cant afford to do that are going to crazy lengths to become like that. What with the new hype of them "wire wire" "Malay' boys and many more. Oppression is the constant order of the day. We put ourselves in bondage, shackled by our own insecurity some may call materialism and deceive ourselves that we are living the life. The life of "live fast and die young". Convincing ourselves that somehow these trinkets we gather and the image and the packaging will make us accepted somehow. WOAH! That's pretty sad. Tell me what is the difference between now and when we were being oppressed by the British!!
Beneath all these glitz and glam is a little voice on the inside saying "hope they like me". We shouldn't live to impress humans like ourselves! Please there is a need to change. I call myself a non-conformist because i'd rather have you hate me for exactly what i am than to like me for what i'm totally not! Why must you fix brazillian hair? Why must you do lace wig? (some even use their synthetic hair to make it). Why must you lie that you are in the club popping rosay when you are drinking palm-wine at the nearest "sepe" joint. If you are not doing these things who will come and hold you? I am not saying these things are bad and that if you have the resources to do them, you cant. But don't become a wanna-be without realizing it. Be the way you are and be proud of it. Tell yourself you are the best. Set goals for yourself and work towards it. Never ever say "I am not good enough" or 'I cant do it'. For parents reading this post work on your growing kids. build up their self esteem now! it is the best time too. If the parents of most of us have tried to help while we were growing up, maybe the world around us would be better.
Say no to oppression and modern day slavery. Be bold and stand up for yourself. its human to be insecure. But its also in your hands to decide how these insecurities affect our lives. You can turn these imperfections into perfect imperfections. Once you can do that no one can make you feel inferior. Don't forget that vanity upon vanity all is VANITY.
You know im awesome, xoxo.

WANNA-BES

Okay so today I wanna talk about the infamous 'wanna-bes' what makes them tick? What do they hope to gain at the end of a long series of social climbing? And what are they gonna do to get to the top??
We all know that we live in a world of oppression. In our society today, we are faced with pressures day in day out. As ladies its one kind of hair or make-up or designer bags and shoes. As guys and men, its the cars, the cruise, how much you pop in the club excetra excetra. It is left to us to chose whether to maintain our identity and ignore whatever anyone else is doing or to get carried away and want these worldly possessions at all costs! Wanna-bes Wanna-bes Wanna-bes!! Everywhere I go.I'm sick of it really. People should try to understand that the only thing you are best at it being yourself not anyone else! You can't successfully be the second version of someone else.
In my day to day activities I see lots of people giving themselves unnecessary headache just because they want to be the 'happening girl' or the 'big boy'. Carrying material things on their head like its the centre of the world. They can spend all day talking about other people. How big someone's house is how much one yahoo boy hammered and you can practically see the dollar sign glittering in their eyes as they speak! Like 'hello!! They are just people!! They want to be like those people they are so fascinated about for all the wrong reasons. You can't compare yourselves to others if you don't know what they do and can't do what they do. I don't get impressed by anyone easily because I really don't know what they all about. Don't know what they did to get what they have. Don't even believe what people say from their mouth these days. I just know only ME and can vouch for myself.
Being a wanna-be arises from a lot of reasons. It could be the need to be liked at all costs or the idea of being fed up with being 'invisible' for so long. Desperation is the word. Desperation to feel among, desperation to have money and so on. 'Famzing' various 'cool' people who are not even worth the stress. For Christ's sake you can even be better than those people! Everything these days is just packaging! If u put all your time and effort into idolizing someone and you find out they are not even all that what are you going to do? Hang yourself? Oh Silly me! Its on to the next one. That's the pathetic life of the wanna-be. Like a saprophyte eating into the lives of people because you can't survive on your own, because you have lost your identity. That's just the saddest thing!

Please if you happen to fall into this category of people change your ways and work on yourself. Or go for deliverance at the nearest pastor's office :). Can't be so hard for you! *lol* Well that's all for now! Thanks for reading and please drop in your comments. You know I'm awesome.. Xoxo

UNLUCkY IN LOVE

Have you ever wondered, 'why do people get into relationships?'Some to find love, others for social status, others for money, sex and some for marriage and procreation. From what I have gathered, its pretty much confusing. But I do know for sure that everyone start with the hope of finding love! That's one of humans' great desires. No matter how great or powerful or rich and famous, there is always this space that love needs to fill up. That's the basic thing. But somewhere along the way,individuals' priorities change.
Some stop believing in love due to personal experiences or stories heard, others hold on to the hope that love is gonna find them someday but get shattered hopes and dreams in return. Some people prefer to remain guarded for the fear of heartbreak, refusing to open up that soft part of them. I for one has yielded to the latter.
For people called the hopeless romantics and in otherwords, optimists in the world today,they are used as a free ground for a whole lot of arseholes and jerks to thread on. Because they won't stop believing in love and keep yielding themselves to their feelings. This jus gives room for heartbreak and pain as the world we live in today do not appreciate the notion of true love. You can hear the 'I love you too's, 'I'll do anything for you' 'you're my everything' but its all for the show. People would say anything to get what they want and you being so excited about having 'found love', would fall for all the sweet words and in the end, you find out that all you thought was perfect and true and magical comes crashing down in the twinkle of an eye! With just one sentence 'it's over' 'I can't do us anymore' 'I found someone else' the one thing you have put your all into becomes nullified. You even wonder if you missed something! Sad much!
Its even harder these days when you're the kind of so called 'ideal' girl or guy. You know, the kind that everyone wants. The dream guy or girl with beauty, brains, money and good nature. You never knows who wants you for the real thing or just for the hype of having you.. Like a trophy! I definitely have to deal with that everyday of my life now. Infact, I have made up my mind to expect the worst from every guy. Don't even have the 'ginger', the boost, to go into any relationship or abandon an existing one. You know the saying the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know and that the next guy you meet might be worse than the one you already have. I mean I have built up a conviction in my heart that all men will do the same thing. None is different from the other. The sad ugly truth we all have to live with.
Those of you that reason with me and have gone through the same phase understand what I mean. Its now a thing of 'what's the point' 'they will all mess up in the end'. Why should I bother my head pleasing one man or lady when in the end I will only be taken for granted, unappreciated or be hammered with more and more complaints. Its a simple thing people, 'If he can't handle my worst, he aint getting my best'. Only God deserves MY best! Dunno about y'all. I am very justified in this statement because in my short days on this earth I haven't seen any reason I should think otherwise! Its a free world! Drop in your comments, let's hear from your own perspective!
I speak to you as an independent woman 'UNLUCKY IN LOVE'. From the beautiful mind of yours truly. :). You know I'm awesome. Xoxo

KA-CHING!!

I lie in my bed this morning all I see around me is (dit is 'n) ppointment, riot, anger.. Its a troublesome world we live in. A world where love is dead and everything good is slowly becoming a faint memory. Children are growing up too fast, parents do not have time for their kids anymore. They are too career-oriented and self-obsessed to even care. The signs everywhere remind me that the world as we know it will soon come to an end.
Gone are the days when a man can be taken by his word. In the society we live in today honesty is something that is far gone.everyone is expected to have a alterior motive for everything they engage themselves in. Now,as a young girl you can't be with a man except you want him for his money. You have to have boyfriendss not one because its the order of the day. Those you tell you are faithful to your partner tell you 'shut up' 'we know he can't be the only one' 'who are the others?'. And the young girls who try their best against all odds to be faithful to their partner and vice-versa are frustrated by the infidelity of their better halves. The frustration leads them to question the point of being faithful in the first place. What is the point of giving your all to someone and at the end of the day he or she wakes up to tell you 'I don't love you anymore'. I for one have given up on the little girl dream of pure love and romance. My new motto is to put my all in2 my career and my God those two things wnt rise up to tell you 'I don't love you any more'. I'm an independent woman and will remain so.
People get married today, for better for worse for richer for poorer.. Blah blah blah! Thinking their lives have become a fairytale, a dream come true, only to realize that what used to be a sacred bond is a mere joke in this world we live in. The holiness of matrimony is simply a myth! Pastors now are involved in adultery without blinking an eye! Women cheat on their husbands in d slightest sign of financial crisis. In a gathering of married men, talking of their concubines is more a matter of pride. What happened to one man to one wife! It is a sad story I tell you. I sometimes wonder the use of getting married out of love. That word is a joke to all as far as we all are concerned. This life is full of many unexplainable problems we create for ourselves. I really hope God helps us all!
From the beautiful mind of yours truly, jus thought to share a little piece of it with the world.
You know I'm awesome.. Xoxo

LEARN TO BE BY YOURSELF

Today's topic certainly seems interesting. "learn to be by yourself". i picked the statement up from somewhere and it held a lot of meanings. i related it to my surroundings and the world as a whole. the problem with many people today is not being self-sufficient and comfortable in their own skin. most of life's problems is all in the mind, a psychological thing.
Most people allow themselves to be defined by the people they surround themselves with either in relationships or otherwise. people are constantly thinking that they cant be cool until they have this guy or this girl to call their own. we hear prayer points all the time "oh Lord send me my man" "Lord where is my woman" as Tyler Perry said and i quote' " Shut up and wait!". Most people just rush into relationships because of the fear of being alone. But what you don't know is that the time you are using on your own is supposed to be the time you use to work on yourself!! Your personality doesn't have to be linked to anybody's name. make your own name. If you cant be by yourself, how the hell can you cope with two people?! i really want to know.you would be amazed at the crap people put up with just to haave someone to call their own. ".oh, that's my boyfriend" "guess what i'm getting married" but do you know what is happening beneath the smiles and all? if someone doesn't make me happy, i'd rather be alone! it saves me a whole lot of stress. i for one know that the Lord has bigger plans for me in my life than being someone's 'babe'. everyone deserves a chance to be happy. to be themselves.

Most times i look around me and i see people trying to hard to be accepted. for everyone to like them, trying to impress. i think the questions you all should ask your self is.."and what will i gain in the end?".You want people to say "oh, shes so fly, so cool" "wow do you know shes dating lagbaja" "that guy over there has the most beautiful girl as his girlfriend" oh please!! that shouldn't be what life is all about left to me!! these things shouldn't be a criteria on how you live your life. you need to work on yourself! i was having a discussion today with a friend of mine about these relationship issues and we said something. you have to know who you really are before you involve any other person in your life. most people do not even know their worth! like in the story i told in my earlier post. if that young girl had known earlier her self worth, how special she really is (as every individual is), she wont have been pushed around that way. lots of people, in the name of having someone to call their own are being belittled and underestimated. and that is not justice.

We all need to get a grip and not allow any man or woman or guy or girl or lady to define our life due to our insecurities. do not let them get the best of you. lean to be by yourself! it is then and only then you can be truly fulfilled when someone comes your way because you would know who exactly you are and what you want. quit with the trying too hard. never put anyone's convenience over yours especially when you are not sure they would do the same! everyone deserves fair treatment. i for one strongly believe in equality. i cant survive in a relationship that equality doesn't rule. it exhausts both parties and leads to bitterness. both of you should always be ready to go the extra mile for each other.it shouldn't always be one sided. two people should be happy together if not there is no excuse, no point of going into the relationship in the first place.

Two happy people are made up of one happy person plus another happy person as one plus one equals two so to be one happy person, it starts with LEARNING TO BE BY YOURSELF!!
You know im awesome..xoxo

ONCE UPON A TIME

Hello World! i want to tell a story.. Once upon a time in the land of Gidi, there lived a beautiful Damsel.She was bright, full of life. She has just moved into the area she anticipated on the new life she and her family were going to have there. it was all a fresh start. new school, new neighbors..then a certain lad caught her eye, she caught his too. they became friends.. then she got infatuated she thought it was love. she couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep. she started to sneak out every night just to spend time with this obsession of hers. they counted stars together, they kissed under the rain. the young girl thought it would all last forever.. she did everything he asked. things she has never tried before. it was exciting. addictive. she didn't ask for anything. she was content to keep doing as he wanted. then her friends took notice. "he's taking advantage of you" they would tell her but her ears were blocked.. only the voice of her lover she listened to. then one fateful day he had her right where he wanted her to be.. in his bed, finally! "Its a sin", 'i'm scared" she pleaded. "don't worry" "everything will be OK" he assured her. "we would be together forever"... He lied. she gave in and a week later she got a break up text. she was broken, she was caught in a bad romance.. he went away with her virtue. she had no sense of self-worth she didn't even know how so amazing and special she really was. she didn't give up. then she met a tall dark and handsome guy. it was the perfect match. he fascinated her. there was no much melodrama before they became an item. he got the girl easily and he knew how many guys were after her.. he couldn't carry last. he got in. but then he also fell in love it went on and on. he had unfinished business with many other girls but set out to end it all with them, all but one. she found out about that one.. she was broken! but she forgave him. she didn't want to be alone! she wasn't gonna let one person come to destroy her fairy tale! it was too early! and so they moved on. they were like 5and6 then it happened... there was a breach in communication. he was away and she was lonely, slowly the calls reduced, the texts, she felt she was alone once again.. she was like a single girl. she begged and begged she needed to see her boo to communicate with him but there was no improvement. she offered to go over to his side he refused and gave excuses. then they suddenly argued more than they talked. she started to go out a lot more and met new people. guys always came. some stuck more than the others. then she finally gave in. she began to like someone else they had sex and they started something. the innocent damsel wasn't so innocent anymore. she asked herself what she was doing but she couldn't stop herself. "i have a boyfriend" no one seemed to understand that language. where is "the boyfriend" he was nowhere to be found! she kept flirting around. it didn't matter anyways.. she told herself. "im just having fun" "i would be reunited with my boo very soon" But it never happened. She had drifted! then before she could even know what was happening she found herself caught in the web of three guys. She met the last one at the beach. she kissed him all the way home and thought "oh well! no strings attached" she didn't know she had made a big mistake! he called her the next day and professed love for her! she thought it was silly as she didn't believe in love at first sight. she was mean she was rude she tried everything possible to get him off her neck. she even used the "i have a boyfriend" line. but he didn't relent and she gave in he was about 10years older. with more wisdom and promise. he treated her right and sweet talked her and she was spell bound and thought he just might be the one despite the fact her runaway boyfriend was still there. all her friends advised her to stay with him that he was 'surer'.he was.. till he started asking her best friend out. he also took advantage of her. she let herself get fooled by his sweet words. she was broken she couldn't take it anymore. she has become everyone's whore. she was better than this! all the affairs she had added no value to her life.. she was just used as a trophy or sex toy by everyone. . nobody she was with deserved her. the one who had her was careless with her. the pressure became too much. what happened to the innocent girl who just wanted to be loved? that was all she wanted and needed but she was pushed around like a piece of rag. everyone wanted to call the beautiful damsel their own even if they didn't deserve her. she broke it off with everyone. and found solace by being by herself. she would wait till someone that deserved here came along, someone that would treat her like a queen, that would LOVE her. a friend and a lover all in one, that didnt just want her for her body or as a trophy. she needed a real man that will put her first not a boy or a schemer. she decided to focus on her studies and career. whoever really deserved her would surface. so everyone, i want you all to tell me what you learnt from this story and discuss, comment.. thanks PS- the damsel found that guy or rather he found her and they lived happily ever after ;) you know im awesome... xoxo

CONFESSIONS OF A DISILLUSIONED DAMSEL

Hello world! did you miss me? That was a rhetorical question.. Sure, y'all did! anyways today i want to talk about guys and relationships. Its a common topic that no one seems to get enough of. What with new stories popping up everyday. My keyword today is #why. 'why' 'why' 'why'. What is wrong with the world. Why is it so hard to find honest people these days. Why do relationships crumble. why does one person start to take the other for granted. it sucks really. the ease by which people use the words 'I love you' and do not mean it. Why you will have someone who really loves you that is all you ever wanted and still be stupid enough to cheat. somethings do not just make a nick of sense.Human nature is so very complex and hence the relationships involved. Why start what you cannot finish.. Breaking hearts in the process. I feel really disillusioned right now about love and relationships whatsoever. Most of it is about the sex, the idea of being an item and feeling among! The value of communication, respect, friendship is becoming a foreign thing. Slowly going out of existence. its sad but that's the ugly truth. i even doubt whether those things exist anymore and i really fear for the next generation when ours is already this messed up. All i hear around me is F-U-C-K love, 'love is dead' and so on. No one believes in love anymore. As I mentioned in the 'ITS A CRAZY CRAZY WORLD' post everything is just becoming so cliche and boiling down to the same thing. Girls killing themselves over some guy that's probably telling another girl the things he tells you or sleeping around. is he really worth the trouble? that's what you should ask yourselves. Guys that have fallen head over heels for a girl and she sees someone 'better' and takes the guy for granted and says shes bored. and most of the time, women are usually the ones to mess up in long term relationships because they are easily changeable. Yeah, noted, men are assholes, bastards yeah we all know we say it all the time even i still said it some hours ago. But one thing is for sure when a man loves a woman and has fallen for her he is constant it cant change easily. their problem is just settling down in the first place but once they are in they are in, at least in most cases i have seen. the women are the ones that get easily influenced and are freaked by what they see outside their own relationship and want to have a little taste. and it usually starts by them suddenly trying to turn their man into that their new idea of 'the perfect man' then finding flaws . Then when they see its not working out they go away with someone else that has come to deceive them that he is the one. it never ends well anyways, cuz in the end there is nothing out there. that's why they always say you should stick to the one you have you never know the next person might be worse.(it goes for both sexes though i just mentioned the ladies because its much more rampant with them.) but also a risk, sticking to one person. what if that person is not the right one. and how do you stick without being to attached and careless with your heart?? is it all worth it at the end of the day? Just thought to share a piece of my mind which is not very stable at the moment. my advice to everyone is not to be too trusting and to expect the worst but hope for the best no matter how good the person appears to be. please send in your comments this topic can be discussed in a million posts and i would still not have said everything. you know i am awesome xoxo

THE BEAUTY AND THE CLINICAL COAT: GOSSIP GIRL

THE BEAUTY AND THE CLINICAL COAT: GOSSIP GIRL: so today is my birthday and i haven't had any sleep since yesterday. so much excitement and birthday wishes so just took this opportunity to...

GOSSIP GIRL

so today is my birthday and i haven't had any sleep since yesterday. so much excitement and birthday wishes so just took this opportunity to share my thoughts with y'all once again. so i was with a group of friends 2days ago (all girls) an i suddenly found myself caught in the middle of serious venomous gossip! we were about 5 girls and all i could hear around me was one beef or the other. the person in question was supposedly 'one of "the girls" some days ago. i just don't understand why girls cant be together without backstabbing! okay about two out of us actually had a direct issue with this person but the others.. why the washing i ask myself! this same girls saying shit about someone cant say it in her front and will be bad mouthing the same people shes badmouthing her with when they are with this girl!! she'll probably even be defending these same people when that happens. its really sad. all in the name of feeling among and having a say in the conversation you just end up talking totally out of line. some people think they have to have a say in what everyone is saying whether it is right or not. i for one despises any form of injustice or hypocrisy. i just don't feel right with being unfair and pretending. what i cant say in your front i wont say behind you and vice versa.. i don't know why girls more than two cant be united anymore. there must be division. my advise to girls is to be watchful of what you tell your fellow females because most of them don't have your best interests at hand and with a little misunderstanding, they will tell the whole world all your secrets! friends indeed! you see girls sharing the love! wearing the same thing, walking together, having 'gist' together all na wash! because what is going on in each individual's mind varies widely. the lesser the 'friends' the safer you are i tell ya! jealousy is like poison to a friendship. these days even, when fakeness is the order of the day one has to be extra careful. someone like me i am very liberal and open-minded i have friends of different characters and backgrounds and i am not judgmental and accommodate everyone. but out of all these friends, maybe one or two are my real friends but the people in question here do not even feel it. you might not be close to me at all left to me because maybe i don't trust you and yet you feel like you are my best friend. trust isn't something that should be given so easily. humans are really terrible. at this my young age, i am noticing a lot of things that will later germinate into the things our parents always warn us about concerning friends.. it starts from now this period in life. the people you move with now determine a lot who you are going to end up becoming. anyways my message to the world today, particularly my fellow females, quit the washing. it is not by force, not a do or die affair. and never let any guy issue come in between your friendships it sucks! that's just a piece of my beautiful mind.. happy birthday to me.. you know i'm awesome xoxo

ITS A CRAZY CRAZY WORLD

So lying in my bed right now i seek for inspiration a writer's inspiration. I reflect on what I have encountered during the day and want to put them in words. There I got it... ;) As a preacher's daughter, I am faced with many intricacies and different opinions. Just this morning my dad talked to us about heaven and heavenly things and how we should all strive to go there and flee away from sin. after the devotion I could swear I was going to text all those i have anything to do with that it is over! My dad just told me about my eternity and i am not going to let anything stand in my way. But I got to my room picked up my blackberry and that was the end! Everything I proposed to do in my heart was void I was going to read my Bible, text whoever I had to but what I saw on my TL and recent updates stuck me in one position and a quiet voice in my mind probed "what are you doing" but i ignored it. i suddenly felt tired to pick up a Bible around and started reasoning how awkward it will be to start texting anyone to say @I want to go to heaven my dad said...." (sighs). I really wonder why things that are not of God are more comfortable to us and easier to do. Why i would go to a club and rock all night but cant stay awake in church service not to talk of a night vigil. Its always the same routine. If a word of advice or good counseling or God's Word is given to you. it is so easy to forget about it when faced with day to day challenges. To know the truth that what you are doing is not good but can't find it in your heart to stop it. I for one will take myself as a case study. There is nothing they want to say in any church or gathering or talk that I wont have possibly come across because my father rings it in our ears all the time. i know what to do today that will make me the holiest but doing it is always a big problem. Don't you all agree to what I am talking about. It doesn't make any sense but yet we all are guilty of this. it is just easier to do as we please and not bother about anything else its easier that way but nemesis always end up catching up. its really silly but the truth. These days everything is just a routine, status-quo!!! You are a young pretty girl.. everyone expects you to have this boyfriend or you are a guy after this certain age you must have had sex before. You have to go clubbing every Friday night before everyone can agree you have a social life!! You have to use a blackberry you have to have a maga that supplies everything. You and your boyfriend are expected to be 'knacking' on a regular and its so odd when that's not the case!! Things are just boiling down to one conclusion or the other with no questions asked.. "is this right?" "does this glorify God?" its so easy to get confused of what is really the right thing these days... i myself get confused at times! We all want to say "so far i am not hurting anyone" "does it really matter?" "abeg jor i don't send anybody" now that's most of us' favorite.. 'i dont care what they say' or "they are hating" its even cool not to send now. Everything is just heading down one road! drives me nuts at times! well this is just a piece of my beautiful mind. Ramblings so to speak lol!i hope that y'all can agree with me or disagree :D share your views! you know i'm awesome! ;) xoxo