LEARN TO BE BY YOURSELF

Today's topic certainly seems interesting. "learn to be by yourself". i picked the statement up from somewhere and it held a lot of meanings. i related it to my surroundings and the world as a whole. the problem with many people today is not being self-sufficient and comfortable in their own skin. most of life's problems is all in the mind, a psychological thing.
Most people allow themselves to be defined by the people they surround themselves with either in relationships or otherwise. people are constantly thinking that they cant be cool until they have this guy or this girl to call their own. we hear prayer points all the time "oh Lord send me my man" "Lord where is my woman" as Tyler Perry said and i quote' " Shut up and wait!". Most people just rush into relationships because of the fear of being alone. But what you don't know is that the time you are using on your own is supposed to be the time you use to work on yourself!! Your personality doesn't have to be linked to anybody's name. make your own name. If you cant be by yourself, how the hell can you cope with two people?! i really want to know.you would be amazed at the crap people put up with just to haave someone to call their own. ".oh, that's my boyfriend" "guess what i'm getting married" but do you know what is happening beneath the smiles and all? if someone doesn't make me happy, i'd rather be alone! it saves me a whole lot of stress. i for one know that the Lord has bigger plans for me in my life than being someone's 'babe'. everyone deserves a chance to be happy. to be themselves.

Most times i look around me and i see people trying to hard to be accepted. for everyone to like them, trying to impress. i think the questions you all should ask your self is.."and what will i gain in the end?".You want people to say "oh, shes so fly, so cool" "wow do you know shes dating lagbaja" "that guy over there has the most beautiful girl as his girlfriend" oh please!! that shouldn't be what life is all about left to me!! these things shouldn't be a criteria on how you live your life. you need to work on yourself! i was having a discussion today with a friend of mine about these relationship issues and we said something. you have to know who you really are before you involve any other person in your life. most people do not even know their worth! like in the story i told in my earlier post. if that young girl had known earlier her self worth, how special she really is (as every individual is), she wont have been pushed around that way. lots of people, in the name of having someone to call their own are being belittled and underestimated. and that is not justice.

We all need to get a grip and not allow any man or woman or guy or girl or lady to define our life due to our insecurities. do not let them get the best of you. lean to be by yourself! it is then and only then you can be truly fulfilled when someone comes your way because you would know who exactly you are and what you want. quit with the trying too hard. never put anyone's convenience over yours especially when you are not sure they would do the same! everyone deserves fair treatment. i for one strongly believe in equality. i cant survive in a relationship that equality doesn't rule. it exhausts both parties and leads to bitterness. both of you should always be ready to go the extra mile for each other.it shouldn't always be one sided. two people should be happy together if not there is no excuse, no point of going into the relationship in the first place.

Two happy people are made up of one happy person plus another happy person as one plus one equals two so to be one happy person, it starts with LEARNING TO BE BY YOURSELF!!
You know im awesome..xoxo

ONCE UPON A TIME

Hello World! i want to tell a story.. Once upon a time in the land of Gidi, there lived a beautiful Damsel.She was bright, full of life. She has just moved into the area she anticipated on the new life she and her family were going to have there. it was all a fresh start. new school, new neighbors..then a certain lad caught her eye, she caught his too. they became friends.. then she got infatuated she thought it was love. she couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep. she started to sneak out every night just to spend time with this obsession of hers. they counted stars together, they kissed under the rain. the young girl thought it would all last forever.. she did everything he asked. things she has never tried before. it was exciting. addictive. she didn't ask for anything. she was content to keep doing as he wanted. then her friends took notice. "he's taking advantage of you" they would tell her but her ears were blocked.. only the voice of her lover she listened to. then one fateful day he had her right where he wanted her to be.. in his bed, finally! "Its a sin", 'i'm scared" she pleaded. "don't worry" "everything will be OK" he assured her. "we would be together forever"... He lied. she gave in and a week later she got a break up text. she was broken, she was caught in a bad romance.. he went away with her virtue. she had no sense of self-worth she didn't even know how so amazing and special she really was. she didn't give up. then she met a tall dark and handsome guy. it was the perfect match. he fascinated her. there was no much melodrama before they became an item. he got the girl easily and he knew how many guys were after her.. he couldn't carry last. he got in. but then he also fell in love it went on and on. he had unfinished business with many other girls but set out to end it all with them, all but one. she found out about that one.. she was broken! but she forgave him. she didn't want to be alone! she wasn't gonna let one person come to destroy her fairy tale! it was too early! and so they moved on. they were like 5and6 then it happened... there was a breach in communication. he was away and she was lonely, slowly the calls reduced, the texts, she felt she was alone once again.. she was like a single girl. she begged and begged she needed to see her boo to communicate with him but there was no improvement. she offered to go over to his side he refused and gave excuses. then they suddenly argued more than they talked. she started to go out a lot more and met new people. guys always came. some stuck more than the others. then she finally gave in. she began to like someone else they had sex and they started something. the innocent damsel wasn't so innocent anymore. she asked herself what she was doing but she couldn't stop herself. "i have a boyfriend" no one seemed to understand that language. where is "the boyfriend" he was nowhere to be found! she kept flirting around. it didn't matter anyways.. she told herself. "im just having fun" "i would be reunited with my boo very soon" But it never happened. She had drifted! then before she could even know what was happening she found herself caught in the web of three guys. She met the last one at the beach. she kissed him all the way home and thought "oh well! no strings attached" she didn't know she had made a big mistake! he called her the next day and professed love for her! she thought it was silly as she didn't believe in love at first sight. she was mean she was rude she tried everything possible to get him off her neck. she even used the "i have a boyfriend" line. but he didn't relent and she gave in he was about 10years older. with more wisdom and promise. he treated her right and sweet talked her and she was spell bound and thought he just might be the one despite the fact her runaway boyfriend was still there. all her friends advised her to stay with him that he was 'surer'.he was.. till he started asking her best friend out. he also took advantage of her. she let herself get fooled by his sweet words. she was broken she couldn't take it anymore. she has become everyone's whore. she was better than this! all the affairs she had added no value to her life.. she was just used as a trophy or sex toy by everyone. . nobody she was with deserved her. the one who had her was careless with her. the pressure became too much. what happened to the innocent girl who just wanted to be loved? that was all she wanted and needed but she was pushed around like a piece of rag. everyone wanted to call the beautiful damsel their own even if they didn't deserve her. she broke it off with everyone. and found solace by being by herself. she would wait till someone that deserved here came along, someone that would treat her like a queen, that would LOVE her. a friend and a lover all in one, that didnt just want her for her body or as a trophy. she needed a real man that will put her first not a boy or a schemer. she decided to focus on her studies and career. whoever really deserved her would surface. so everyone, i want you all to tell me what you learnt from this story and discuss, comment.. thanks PS- the damsel found that guy or rather he found her and they lived happily ever after ;) you know im awesome... xoxo

CONFESSIONS OF A DISILLUSIONED DAMSEL

Hello world! did you miss me? That was a rhetorical question.. Sure, y'all did! anyways today i want to talk about guys and relationships. Its a common topic that no one seems to get enough of. What with new stories popping up everyday. My keyword today is #why. 'why' 'why' 'why'. What is wrong with the world. Why is it so hard to find honest people these days. Why do relationships crumble. why does one person start to take the other for granted. it sucks really. the ease by which people use the words 'I love you' and do not mean it. Why you will have someone who really loves you that is all you ever wanted and still be stupid enough to cheat. somethings do not just make a nick of sense.Human nature is so very complex and hence the relationships involved. Why start what you cannot finish.. Breaking hearts in the process. I feel really disillusioned right now about love and relationships whatsoever. Most of it is about the sex, the idea of being an item and feeling among! The value of communication, respect, friendship is becoming a foreign thing. Slowly going out of existence. its sad but that's the ugly truth. i even doubt whether those things exist anymore and i really fear for the next generation when ours is already this messed up. All i hear around me is F-U-C-K love, 'love is dead' and so on. No one believes in love anymore. As I mentioned in the 'ITS A CRAZY CRAZY WORLD' post everything is just becoming so cliche and boiling down to the same thing. Girls killing themselves over some guy that's probably telling another girl the things he tells you or sleeping around. is he really worth the trouble? that's what you should ask yourselves. Guys that have fallen head over heels for a girl and she sees someone 'better' and takes the guy for granted and says shes bored. and most of the time, women are usually the ones to mess up in long term relationships because they are easily changeable. Yeah, noted, men are assholes, bastards yeah we all know we say it all the time even i still said it some hours ago. But one thing is for sure when a man loves a woman and has fallen for her he is constant it cant change easily. their problem is just settling down in the first place but once they are in they are in, at least in most cases i have seen. the women are the ones that get easily influenced and are freaked by what they see outside their own relationship and want to have a little taste. and it usually starts by them suddenly trying to turn their man into that their new idea of 'the perfect man' then finding flaws . Then when they see its not working out they go away with someone else that has come to deceive them that he is the one. it never ends well anyways, cuz in the end there is nothing out there. that's why they always say you should stick to the one you have you never know the next person might be worse.(it goes for both sexes though i just mentioned the ladies because its much more rampant with them.) but also a risk, sticking to one person. what if that person is not the right one. and how do you stick without being to attached and careless with your heart?? is it all worth it at the end of the day? Just thought to share a piece of my mind which is not very stable at the moment. my advice to everyone is not to be too trusting and to expect the worst but hope for the best no matter how good the person appears to be. please send in your comments this topic can be discussed in a million posts and i would still not have said everything. you know i am awesome xoxo